Physical fitness is a great thing. It makes you stronger. It makes you faster. It improves your self-image. It has even been scientifically proven to improve brain activity. Anyone who is familiar with running will know that after a good session of exercise, a feeling of overall well-being and good humor known as a “runners high,” is likely to afflict you. The phenomenon is certainly not confined to running, though. This is your body’s way of patting you on the back with endorphins to encourage you to get your fat ass back out there again soon. If any racialist-minded or fascistic-leaning white person needed any more reason than those wonderful benefits to exercise, they need look no further than the gleaming example of righteousness on the Aryan hilltop known as Nazi Germany. Physical fitness and beauty was one of the most stressed upon aspects of the Third Reich. If it’s good enough for Adolf, it’s good enough for you! Besides the few Mountain Dew chugging keyboard warriors that maybe reading this, most people would agree the being active is a great thing. But that’s not what I’m here to discuss. I’m here to analyze the phenomenon known as Planet Fitness. Planet Fitness is a chain of gyms that spans across the United States Corporation in many large cities. Now I have always been a very health conscious person, doing my best to eat right and stay in decent shape. But in the last six months or so I’ve decided that I need to put on some muscle weight. Firstly because it makes my wife hot and bothered, and secondly I felt it was an appropriate course of action in my quest to becoming an Übermensch. Also I have noticed that as my strength has increased, so has increased the strength in my political and spiritual convictions. I started my quest with a pull-up bar and two thirty-five pound dumbbells. I made pretty good progress with body-weight and dumbbell workouts. However, I have recently moved and I noticed this Plant Fitness, minutes away from my home. At tendollars a month, it is certainly affordable and provides me with a lot more ways in which I can get swol. However, the moment I pulled into the parking lot and took a good look at the establishment, I got that all too familiar shiver down my spine that tells me my internal Jewdar is registering off the charts. If you have never seen a Planet Fitness, it is draped in a sickening combination of bright purple and yellow. It sticks out in a similar fashion to a feminist’s dyed hair. It is rather off-putting in my opinion. The symbol that adorns the entrance is mechanical cog with a giant thumbs-up hand gesture flying through it. To the left in bright yellow lettering reads “NO GYMTIMIDATION!” And to the right it reads “WE ACCEPT YOU!” With great trepidation in my heart, I entered this shrine of acceptance. Inside is extremely crowded. Every kind of person you could ever imagine dwells within these purple walls. Muscle heads, alcoholics desperately trying to jog off last night’s binge,fatties sipping a diet coke while walking leisurely, and the most average joes just trying to do the right thing. If it were not for the constant drone of crappy blast beat pop music, it would be very quiet inside. Except for partners that went to go workout together, there is little interaction between patrons as they keep their heads down and huff and puff as quietly as possible for fear of setting off the lunk alarm. There is literally an alarm that goes off and is designed to embarrass and modify the behavior of any person that feels the need to let off a loud grunt to help them get through that last rep. (As a side note from my experience, letting out a cry can really help you muster that last bit of strength that otherwise might not be there.) This idea struck me as very culturally marxist in nature. The “lunks” do not get kicked out, but the sound of the alarm is enough to keep them in line. In the same way words like “racist,” and “anti-semite,” or “bigot,” are used to shutdown any evil white man that dares to strike the sacred cow of communism and mono-culturalism. As you stroll around many encouraging slogans can be seen. Such gems as “JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE,” and “NO CRITICS,” cheer on the more low self-esteemed people. At the doors you should understand that you “LEAVE YOUR EGO AT THE DOOR!” In a grid pattern are dozens of purple treadmills all neat and proper, in the most soulless way possible. That, is what seems to strike me the most. No soul. The ever present cog design is littered about the place. That is the theme of Planet Fitness. Just like in real life the only bad thing that you can do at planet fitness is make people feel uncomfortable. Keep your opinions to yourself, you know, unless they are opinions that include everyone! (cue creepy church smile). Be a good little goy and enjoy the pre-made exercise equipment that was designed with your safety in mind. Even the bench press is attached to the rack with notches all the way down to ensuremaximum security and safety. It just gives me the willies to see a hundred people all running on treadmills and staring up at the big screen. The plague of communism has spread and infected just about every single aspect of our modern life. It is no longer just the college student who needs to watch out for the treacherous Jew, but every single man and woman, no matter what class they be from. How sickening is it that a facility that is a means towards self-improvement and betterment of the body takes the stance of “you are fine just the way you are!” At Planet Fitness everyone is seen as the same, it is the Orwellian gym of the future. No one is better than anyone else. To me that is the purpose of gyms. To look at the person next to you and say, “Damn, I want to look like that!” But no, here at PF your cellulite jelly rolls are just as appealing as defined abdominals that took hard work and emotion to achieve. This is simply just another symptom of the backwards world that we livein. By all means please go exercise at a gym if you want. But be warned, side effects of Planet Fitness may include, but are not limited to; feelings of complacency, unmerited self-worth, pizza slice Tuesdays, and a nasty case of athlete’s foot. 4 SHARES