10 Tips from Homeschooling Moms of Four or More By

As a stay at home mom, homeschooling four kids, I’m always on the lookout for ideas that will make life easier. I’ve found myself particularly interested in hearing advice from women with lots of children, who have been doing this longer than I have. By no means am I suggesting that the experience of families with one or two children isn’t relevant. My point is simply that the parents of several children engage in some seriously creative thinking to accomplish ordinary day to day tasks. This article is simply a collection of tips, gathered from ‘Moms of Many’, and is intended to supply helpful suggestions for homeschooling, maintaining your home, and generally keeping it all in balance. Tip #1: Before you start homeschooling, evaluate your home’s discipline. Every home has a method of discipline in place whether they realize it or not (I’m using the word ‘discipline’ here to mean training, nothing else). You’ve acted as a trainer, or coach for your child since the time they were born,teaching them to speak, tie their shoes, etc. Homeschooling is simply an extension of that role. Many people, especially those making a transition from public school, find it helpful to set aside a time for reflection, before jumping into that first homeschool year. Is the relationship between you and your child one that will easily facilitate teacher/pupil roles? Do you need to redefine your idea/method of discipline? This is the time to make necessary adjustments, even if it costs you some time in getting to the academics. Much better to address potential problems now, than deal with battles and power struggles while trying to teach math and phonics! Don’t feel like a ‘bad parent’ if you find yourself needing to make some changes. Lots of people have made very positive adjustments that they may never have had the opportunity to address had they not been spending so much time with their kids through homeschooling! Think of your children’s education as a house, with yourself as thearchitect and them as the builders/owners. This time of reflection is like the foundation. Once the foundation is set, you’re ready to build! Tip #2: Books and curricula are tools, nothing more. Remember the house analogy: You’re the architect, and the goals you determine for your children’s education are the blueprint. You’re also the supplier, since you have to provide your builders with the materials they’ll need! We do have a responsibility to our children to research, and weigh the pros and cons of the different curricula available. But the idea that the end result is completely dependent on making the right choice of materials is not only flawed; it could really drive you batty if you let it! Yes, superior tools make a job easier, but they don’t build on their own. Some of the materials you get may not be ideal, but time and money constraints require that you find a way to make them work. Others may simply not be right for the job. It’s up to you to decide where to draw thathousehold responsibilities. And the list of those responsibilities has ranged from taking care of younger siblings (in the teen years) to helping with laundry (at age 3). If they contribute to the mess, they can contribute to the clean up! Develop a list of responsibilities that they can ease into, and increase it as they get older. And if they ask if they can do something, let them try! The results achieved by a small person using only water may not make your floor look like it does after you’ve mopped, but it may buy you an extra day or two before it requires thorough cleaning. Tip #7: Spend time planning ahead for meals. This can be as in-depth as ‘bulk cooking’ (cooking several meals in advance to keep in the freezer), or as simple as thinking about lunch at breakfast, and dinner at lunch. My personal modification to the bulk cooking idea is to cook large portions of meat at one time, using some of it for that night’s dinner, and freezing the rest in entree sized portions. Thisway, I have it on hand for those nights when I find myself facing the stove with little prep time and/or energy! Experiment with variations of systems until you find what works for you. Tip #8: If you struggle with ‘scheduling’, try routines instead. What’s the difference between a schedule and a routine? A schedule is generally a timed plan; routines are regular, habitual procedures. Programs and systems that use schedules to get people organized can be wonderful things, and I’ve included some links to popular ones below. If you’ve tried to implement a schedule into your homeschool and found that it didn’t seem to fit with what you were trying to do, try and develop some routines. They don’t have to be done in the same order, or even at the same time each day, but you might set some general guidelines (before breakfast, before lunch, etc.). Experiment with a school routine. Are there things your children can do on their own? Make up a list, and get them in the habit of doing what theycan on their own before they come to you. This may take some time to develop, but just as with other worthy habits (diligence, punctuality, etc.), the benefit will be that it will save time in the future. Tip #9: Take time to keep family relationships healthy. You may be concerned about all of the ‘togetherness’ of homeschooling. After all, ‘Familiarity breeds contempt’, doesn’t it? From what I’ve personally witnessed of homeschooling families, the opposite is usually true. One mother of seven told me that aside from requiring siblings to treat each other well, she considers a ‘Family Night’ to be of great importance to their family’s peace. She and her husband also have a ‘date night’ with just the two of them as often as they can. A ‘Family Night’ might seem like overkill to some, I mean, aren’t we together all day, every day, already? Well, yes, but don’t underestimate the power of setting aside time just for enjoying each other, if it seems to be all ‘business’ lately. Sometimeswe’re spending less time together than we think, between rehearsals, music lessons, and sports. And while you may have reasons that preclude your going out of the house on a date with your spouse, there is something to be said for taking some one on one time for each other every day. It may not be until the kids are in bed, or it may just be a few minutes on the couch after dinner. Children can let you talk to each other for a short length of time, although it may take a few tries! Tip #10: Remember why you do what you do. All of the moms I talked with mentioned a sense of spiritual responsibility concerning their children when asked about their reasons for homeschooling. They would also tell you that since their ‘commission’ to homeschool is rooted in their faith, it is that same faith that sustains them when doubts or hard times hit. There will be times when it will be enough to take a hot bath and a two-day break. But there will definitely be times when you find yourself wondering,‘Why am I doing this?’ You probably have ‘heart reasons’ for deciding to homeschool your children. Examine them well, and be ready to reaffirm them to yourself when those hard times come. Knowing that those times will come is probably the best information you can have, along with knowing that other people experience it, too! But even the best advice won’t make decisions for you, or magically pull all of the pieces into place. Forming your family’s own homeschooling style is something that takes time. Ours is still developing after four years, and it continues to develop as I encounter and incorporate new ideas. I hope that these tips can help you in the ongoing process of living out the decision to educate at home. Your homeschooling journey may not be bump free, but you can make it a great ride. So hold on tight, and have fun! Further Resources: Toddler Theme-a-Saurus by Jean Warren.  For more activities, try under “Preschoolers.” The Way They Learn by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias (Learningstyles) Managers of Their Homes by Teri Maxwell (a scheduling guide). Their website is Sink Reflections: FlyLady’s Baby-Step Guide to Overcoming Chaos by Martha Cilley.  Or check out her website at

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